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Give kids Choices you both can live with…


We know that Choice is one way we can give children the power they are trying so desperately to gain.  When setting up your choices keep these things in mind:

  • Give them two viable choices that you can live with.
  • Make one of the choices a more preferable choice that they may desire more.
  • Giving them a Choice takes them off the Power Playing Track and onto the Decision Making Track
  • When giving them a choice start with a fact question :  Where? When? With Whom? What? How?

Here are some examples:

  • Where will we put your lego project when we leave for grandmas… on the table or on the counter?
  • When will you brush your teeth… before pjs or after pjs?
  • Who do you want to bring with you into the tub… your super heroes or your pirates?
  • What veggie will you eat…salad or asparagus?
  • How many things will you clean up… 10 or 15?
  • How will you go upstairs… crawling up the stairs like a baby or running fast like cheetah?

These choices can work for tweens and teens too… See examples below:

  • Where will you do your homework… on the couch or at the kitchen table?
  • When will you start your social studies project… Friday night or Saturday morning?
  • Who could you call to help you with your homework… neighbor or grandpa?
  • What outfit will you wear to church…  the blue polo or the long sleeve oxford?
  • How many math problems will do before dinner…   5 or 10?
  • What time should we meet up at the entrance to Kings Island… 5 or 6?

Whatever you do avoid the Why questions because they put the focus on feelings and lead to debate and power struggles.

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