A teacher could spend their whole day saying NO NO NO.
No calling out,
No leaning on chairs,
No talking, NO NO NO…
But what works better is to give a child or a classroom of children the YES YES YES behaviors they desire instead of constantly correcting. So, if you find yourself constantly calling your child out and you feel like a broken record, try calling out the expected behaviors instead. A teacher who wants her children to walk down the hallway without talking will call out… Walk Walk Walk, Quiet Quiet Quiet to give the group the specific expected behaviors. By doing this, the teacher is investing more in the positive behavior than the negative behavior.
For parents, this means telling your child what to do… giving them a new replacement behavior instead of correcting what NOT to do. If you find yourself shouting out all day and using negative correcting methods like: Stop Hitting! Don’t Do That! Quit Pushing! No! No! No!
Use the phrase, “SHOW ME” to encourage a child to model the better choices. For instance, for a three year old big brother who has a tendency to be rough with his baby sister, use these “SHOW ME ” phrases: “SHOW ME how you tickle her toes… SHOW ME how you snuggle with her… SHOW ME how you share your toy with her.” This takes the negative spin off the correction and invites the child to make a better choice. It lessens the chance of the power play between parent and child because the child gets busy trying to show you the better choice and avoids the repetition of the bad choice to get your attention.
Another way to avoid so much NO NO NO is to encourage a child to TELL you the better choice… TELL ME how you will behave outside with your brother, TELL ME how you will sit at the table, TELL ME what went well in the bathtub tonight, TELL ME How you can talk nicely to your mom.
Have your child use show and tell to improve behaviors. You can use these methods on the spot or call a family meeting and have kids show and tell their best choices of the day!