The Stop and Go Behavior List: What are the Stop Behaviors that you would like to see go BYE BYE? What are the replacement behavior options that you need to train (teach, model and practice)?
The Leverage List: What are the positive things that your child wants that you could use as leverage for good choice making? What are the things they love and already have that you could take away if needed? These “things” don’t need to be things at all… They can be simply adding in an extra five minutes on the iPad, a special trip to the library with mom, a walk around the block with dad…. Whatever makes your child soar… Let’s work towards it! Or If you feel like your child has so much already, let’s start working towards earning these things instead of just handing them over without good choice making. This list will be fluid and ever changing as your child’s interests and development ebbs and flows. So add to it whenever you see a window of leverage, and make sure you run to it when you need to secure a solid and meaningful consequence.
The Calming List: What are the things that help your child calm themselves? If you have a list of these, look at it and use it to help them calm down when they need to PAUSE. Each child in your home will have different things that work, so your list should be specific to the child. You can also post images and/or words to have the options readily available for your child when they need to choose how they will calm down. This list can be ever changing too, so keep adding to it as you see your child new methods to regulate their emotions. If there is something that really works to help calm them, make sure to purposely plug these calming strategies into their day. If you are like most parents you might want to think of a list of things to help you calm when you are upset.
The Elephant List: When your child wants to do something right now, but it just isn’t the time or place to do it, use your elephant list to write it down and help your remember. The Elephant list helps you remember what you promised. The list becomes your reminder and your child will feel safe knowing that although the answer is NO now it might be YES later. Good News: your child will feel like they are being heard… Bad News: you actually have to play that 100th game of Candyland sometime in the near future.