Do you every have parenting moments when you feel like you made a split decision and for whatever reason it worked. You walk away dumbfounded…You didn’t plan ahead, you didn’t think it all through, you simply went on your instinct and it worked! “That was Easy,” you say, and you think to yourself, “Hmm? Why did that work?”
As you go through your day be reflective about the things that ARE working. Normally we spend so much time replaying the parenting mistakes that we made . Because we are so busy replaying all the negatives of our day we rarely look deeper at the moments that are positive. Tomorrow, try to focus on the “That was Easy moments”, and analyze what went well, how you responded, how your child responded, and recognize what you did during the beginning, middle and end of the interaction. Did you use a different tone of voice? Did you add humor into the dialogue? Did you give them enough “wait time” to allow them to digest the information and reflectively reply to you? Did you follow their interests or needs instead of your own? Did you give up a little control in order to make them feel like they had some control? You obviously did something well, so find out by analyzing the positive interaction.
We all know there are no “Easy Buttons” in parenting, but the positive moments (when analyzed) can be moments that repeat themselves. Zero in on what is working and try to make it happen again and again.